Updated: Feb 12, 2021
Love is the only truth that we all seek in this mysterious world. We all are children longing and waiting for a love that comes without any games and conditions in life. This love is the eternal truth. We all view love from different lenses, depending on the stages of the evolution of our souls. The polarized viewpoint for the world that labels people, things and objects as 'good' or 'bad' come from the lesser evolved 3 D consciousness. We all begin our lives with a refined state of love and an authentic essence close to heart space. However, with time and social conditioning, we get stuck in the web of societal standards. But, this need to get validation from society is just the first stage of soliciting love. Looking at my life, I discovered these four stages that we all go through. These stages do not circumscribe to a single lifetime but, can be spread across many lifetimes.
Moses saw goodness supremely as justice, Plato essentially as wisdom, and Jesus centrally as love; yet they all agreed that virtue, however understood, was consistently undermined by something in human nature which was at war with something else. - Thomas A. Harris (I'm ok you're ok)
The longevity of the discovery of love is in no way a parameter for someone being better than the rest but, is a beautiful discovery of the soul which every one will realize at the right time.
Stage 1: Seeking love in the outside world
Love, in its true essence, is unconditional. However, with social conditioning, we begin to fall into the trap of putting conditions for everything we love. We say to our children that they are "good" only when they listen to us, finish their homework, eat their veggies and punish them for being "bad". Then we send these innocent and pure souls to schools where we teach them how only when they get good grades will they have a fantastic future. We put conditions after conditions and term this way of living as usual. We normalize the conditioned love to the extent that we suppress all our superpowers, the senses that we have beyond the five senses that we learn about in school and consider it love. This perception of conditioned love is unnatural to our mind, body and soul. The signs of discomfort begin to surface in every aspect of our lives. We feel anxious, depressed, develop life-threatening diseases like cancer or have some form of health problem throughout our lives. Only when we stop living reality in limitations can we manifest the world filled with unconditional love. However, most of the times our egos are so strong that the universe (that is longing for us to live our best lives) makes us go through an awakening which often begins with a life-changing event. This awakening is the moment when we apprehend how inestimable our life is and how we have been holding ourselves back all our lives.
Stage 2: Finding love within and recognizing what true love is
I wish no person alive has their ego as rigid as mine or many others who have had to go through extreme pain to break free from this paradox. If it is, and if you are one of them who had to go through a painful awakening, then that is one of the biggest blessings in disguise. You hold the experience that very few people have. After a while (can be lifetimes), conditional love becomes so painful that we are left with no choice but to choose unconditional love for our souls. This situation is when you begin to steer your destiny and realize your true potential by just being you. You determine how everything you were taught was just an illusion and commence to re-define love. In my experience, while I was in this stage, I ended up understanding how I never was in love with any of my exes. I acquired the value and how love makes you feel. The warm embrace and care that you feel when you encounter true love was something that I had never experienced before in my life. And, because this state is ecstatic, it would make you long for even more knowledge and your growth would accelerate like never before. You start to distance yourself from situations and people whose vibrations do not match with yours. This state is also as sensitive as that of a newborn baby after all this is your re-birth. So, shielding your energies becomes your precedence here.
Stage 3: Recognizing your dharma and what you love to do
As time progresses, and you go deeper in remembering (because our souls already know the unconditional nature of love, so we just have to remember that love and manifest it in our current lifetimes) how we are unconditional love at the core you would realize how the work that you do demonstrates the role that you play in this world. And when you realize what a limitless beast you are, you resist spending even a single minute working at the job that is not as limitless as you. This stage of discovery needs you to be courageous and bold to create a "career" that is as unique as you. This level requires you to keep your faith flag up really really really high. This is the part where you begin searching for everything and only the things that are a vibrational match for you. You realize how when you work at a job that does not make you feel happy, you are just spending time not loving yourself. And because your newly discovered definition of love makes you feel so much at bliss that you would want to work for people and in jobs where you are able to experience this level of freedom.
Stage 4: Manifesting love in the outside world
Everything we see around us is just a manifestation of our thoughts. What we think we create and what we make, we experience. The most significant part of the illusion that people live in is that they would be happy after finding something in the outside world. However, this is never the case. You need to be a vibrational match to whatever you see around you to experience it. This part of manifestation consists of finding unconditional love, tranquility and harmony in our relationships. Human beings are social animals, we like company, and hence, once we have healed every other aspect of our life, we can rediscover love in human relationships. Everyone around us is just a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. When the relationship with self is unhealthy and doesn't recognize love internally, you cannot have love with another person.
I realized these four stages and observed how people discover their real character and completely shed their ego selves. However, this is a journey, and it only unfolds once you embark on this path.